More people we miss...

Last year's pumpkins

Spooky web, Madonna Mt. 

With the crispness of fall making it's way to Alanya, and Halloween happening without us, we are really starting to miss the central coast and the activities and people that made that part of the world so special. If you are lucky enough to still live in the utopia that is San Luis Obispo make sure you take advantage of it, and take us along in your heart on a few of our favorite SLO activities. 

1. Wine tasting (DUH)

2. Apple tasting at Gopher Glen 

3. Farmer's Market: eat something with your hands while sitting on a curb and listening to an awesome performer like "puppet guy" or Lord of the Cello. 

4. Picking out pumpkins and amazing gourds at Avila Barn

5. Happy hour at the cliffs (year 'round fun)

Ok, so this wasn't Farmers, but you could dance like this anyway.

Anyway, we miss you.  We miss dancing with you, sipping wine with you, hiking and eating with you. Enjoy the start of fall, we wish we were there sharing it with you. xo

Baileyana, and our last wine tasting day is SLO.

"YOU LIVE IN TURKEY NOW!" My role as a woman...

Turkish Nights.  Notice the men on the floor.

As mentioned before, Alan and I have been blessed with very kind, generous, and fun coworkers here in Turkey.  For the past six weeks we have been doing a rotating weekly dinner at different people's houses.  These dinners started out as 'Turkish Lessons" (and sometimes belly dancing lessons), but as we have gotten to know each other better they have melted into a gathering of friends to eat, drink, and hang out.  We all try to bring some sort of offering to the host who has undoubtedly cooked an array of DE-lish Turkish specialties, and this week we brought chocolate chip cookies.  Now those of you who really know us know that Alan is the baker and I am the dishwasher, and these cookies were no different.  Little did we know how much of a stir this would cause.

We stopped by to pick up a lovely/hilarious friend, (one who scooped Alan under his wing as soon as we landed in Turkey, teaching him how to say "my man!" and do other manly Turkish things). He greeted me in his usual gentlemanly way, and then was so excited to see that "You baked!" Not one to take credit for someone else's work I corrected him, "Oh no.  Alan baked." The look of shock on his face was priceless.  He turned to Alan, "You BAKE?" "Well yeah.  I love baking," (and PS he's a kindergarten teacher in a school that has NEVER had a man working in that department.  And he plays the ukulele.  And he waltzed me all over the floor at the ball. He's not your average belching-spitting-crude-joke-telling-man's-man. Why is this such a surprise?)  Well the real kicker came when Kamil asked what I was doing while he was baking, and I said I was napping. "WHAT?!?! You're in Turkey now! The woman bakes and the man naps! Come ON!" Well, knowing Kamil to say whatever comes to his mind, usually in an effort to get a rise out of everybody, we laughed and reminded him that we are still Americans.

Turkish MEN

Later, at dinner I was retelling this story to all of the other Turks in the room, because it was hilarious, and I was expecting them all to think so to.  Now, Turkey is conservative. One of our DE-lightful girlfriends told us that she wont ever be able to get married because she doesn't know how to cook and do laundry, so no man would ever want her; another of our friends who is 23 wont tell her parents about the boy friend she has been dating for like 4 years because they wouldn't understand; and all of our unmarried friends still live with their parents because that's what you do when you live in Turkey. That being said, I was expecting a hearty laugh from the group of 12 young, open-minded, liberal Turks in the room.  While I did get some smiles and some chuckles, many took this moment to explain to us that in Turkey, much like in a few generations back in America, the men work, and the women do all of the household chores.  "Right, but I work too! All of the women in this room work. That has changed.  Shouldn't the household expectations change too?" They all nodded along with a smile, "Yes, yes, you both work, you are both tired, you should both work together to cook and clean." All the while Kamil is still spouting off about "no, not 50/50, 100% of the house work is the woman's!" And then, even though all of the other people in the room were "agreeing" with me, when the food was served all of the women (except me) hopped up to make all of the men (except Alan) a plate of dinner, and then sat down near their man's feet, like a good Turkish woman should.  UGH. So, because we're American and because we were enjoying messing with their traditions, Alan jumped up to make me a plate, which sent all of their heads spinning again.

Turkish ladies

Sometimes it is easy to forget that our cultures are so different.  We hang out with mostly young, liberal, and well educated people, who look and act much like our American friends.  We notice differences in language, and in food, but for the most part our attitudes and beliefs align closely with each other. This dinner and ensuing debate was an interesting reminder that our cultures are still very different in many ways.  The more traditional and conservative Turkish families still have very strict rules for what is a woman's role versus what is a man's role, as well as what is appropriate for a woman to be seen in, and who she should be seen with (Circa 1800's America?). But even some of the younger more liberal Turks act out the social rules that they verbally disagree with (1950's America?). I guess this is a good reminder of how slow change can be sometimes.  I mean this is a culture that has been around for 4000 years.  Some of their social rules probably run that deep, why would it surprise me that they would take a few decades or even centuries to change?

On a related note: Kamil would like me to set him up with one of my American friends.  When I told him that none of my American girlfriends would be interested in dating a man who thinks she should cook and clean for him, he told me it wouldn't be a problem. I'm not sure what he has up his sleeve, but I am interested in watching this unfold.  So if you're coming to visit me sometime, and think it might be fun to watch this guy "work his magic on you," stay tuned for our upcoming series tHarmoney (where the T stands for Turkey). We also have a few lovely Turkish girlfriends looking for an American guy who doesn't need her to cook and clean for him.  This should be fun.

As I watch the sunrise ...

Never in a million years did I think this would happen. Never did I think that when I moved to Turkey and started a blog would I write about something so American as college football and baseball. However, in an effort to feel connected to my home here I am staying up through the night to watch live coverage of Cal football and NLCS game 6.

I noticed we had Fox Sports in our cable package, but that was of little interest until the Giants' post season bid. I happened to see that the channel was showing the NLCS games. Unfortunately live games in America mean late night games here, a 4:30 pm start means a 2:30 am start here. So as a dedicated band wagon fan who is missing home I set an alarm and laid on the couch with the Cal game on.

The excitement of that game for me came not from the great score (which was nice) but from a trip down memory lane. In high school I was part of Cal's High School Band day where our band got to go to the stadium and play on the field during half time. Extra special that my sister got to be at the game to watch it too. Well today was High school band day and during half time the high school bands were out there playing away. In both instances the weather turned in the second half of the game and it started raining. Annamarie and I took the opportunity to use mom's credit card to get ourselves new Cal sweatshirts.

After I fell asleep during the second half of the football game, my alarm went off signaling 2:30 am, time to start rooting the Giants on. Is it because I am such a die hard fan? No. Certainly I want them to win it all, I have been rooting them on for as long as I can remember. But this is different. I feel a connection to home tonight, a connection to my family who I know are cheering in Cali. I understand the "nostalgia" that so many people talk about when they discuss the American Pastime. I remember "playing" in the living room while we watched the game. We made 4 bases out of pillows and played with a stuffed ball. I remember the "You better believe it" Grand slam when we felt like the announcers were talking to us because we were shouting "I don't believe it". Brett Butler's (perhaps it was Matt Williams?) 12 foul balls in the '89 playoffs before he hit the homerun, not to mention the countless games we went to to share the experience with the ladies hiding their schnapps behind their little Tv. These are the experiences that up to this point I didn't realize held such importance for me. It only took thousands of miles and a good playoff battle to help me remember.

So as I watch the Giants celebrate and the sunrise I look forward to reminiscing about the time I pulled an all nighter to watch the Giants win the pennant while Erin slept on the couch behind me. Then I did that silly victory dance to celebrate.

People We Miss: Part 3

Painting in diapers

I hate to anger a bunch of family and friends (we really really miss you, promise), but after our 5th week of school, we are REALLY starting to miss our ASI family. It's not that this week was any harder than the others, it wasn't.  We have been feeling the aching absence of coworkers who understand and value us, parents who trust and like us, and children who greet us with hugs, come to us for support, and who cry to us in a language we understand. We have had to remind ourselves over and over again that our first few weeks, days, and months at ASI weren't perfect either, and all of those things come with time, but right now all we can remember is how much like home that building felt.  Thank you to all of you who played such an important part in our lives.  You will always hold a family-like spot in our hearts.  We miss you dearly, and can't WAIT to visit in the summer. (We have plans to bring a few of our Turkish teacher friends with us to visit.  We are sure that they will be inspired.)

Baking in diapers

saying "goodbye"

My favorite chicken

One last day of "mandatory fun" with the whole gang

So... While writing this blog I was very disappointed by our lack of pictures from this very important chapter of our lives. We have NO pictures of us with our coworkers, very few pictures of children and families, and practically zero pictures of children doing awesome things like building a castle out of stars and straws, or leading their own version of group with flannels.  It's not that we didn't take a million, it just felt kind of creepy to take them when we left.  Now I feel sad that we didn't.  If you have any gems in your collection, of school, home, vacation, whatever, I would love an email.  xo

People we miss #2

My first addition to the "People we miss" posts are my sisters. This is the time of year that we would take on many "Why not" adventures such as Bridge School concerts and weekend sports events. Coming up this week both are happening with the Giant's recent playoff bid and the Bridge School concert happening in the Bay Area I am missing my sisters. In a recent email they sent me pictures of them doing the "Giants Stretch Cam."

I decided to show my support and Giant's spirit by stretching before checking the results of the most recent game. This came in quite handy when I had a celebration dance, I was all limber, no muscles pulled.

So to sum up. I miss you snisters. Wish I could be there to partake in some fall "Why Not" activities with you. Oh Yeah...

GO GIANTS!!!

The first in a series: People we miss.

Ok, So we have started missing people.  A lot of people.  So many people that if I tried to list all of you here it would take all day.  So instead we will be highlighting different people with different awesome pictures in a regular series.  As an added bonus, you will all have to check our blog regularly to find out if we are featuring our love for you that day.  We love you all.



People we miss day 1: Emily and Josh,  Congratulations on your new home! We couldn't be more proud, jealous, and excited to visit.  We miss you like crazy, now send us your address already!

Mail!

We thought a quick shout-out to show our appreciation was necessary. We have been lucky enough to have received mail from several people we love, and so far no bills or junk mail whatsoever.  (OK so in Turkey they just stick the bill to the door, but that makes our mailbox a sanctuary of joy.)

Thank you, thank you, Nikki, Mateo, Danielle, Bryan, Sandra, Melinda, and Mom. We now have lots of pictures on our fridge, cards on our table, and cranberry sauce for  Turkey Day.  Thank you for making us feel so loved.

For those of you considering sending us mail, keep in mind that we would love to see your beautiful face on our fridge!

Cat Bridge!

Since moving to Turkey Alan and I have been oh so tempted by the hoards of darling stray cats all over the city. I don’t know whether is has to do with their sheer volume, or that we live in a new country and have a new home and a new life, but all of a sudden I have developed the urge to be a pet owner. 

Many factors have stopped me from scooping one up and taking it home with us.  One major fear has been getting some sick sort of disease like rabies or the plague from these street-roaming, vaccination-free wild animals.  But my sister assured me that as long as I didn’t make-out or share needles with them, I was unlikely to catch anything serious (PHEW, neither of those activities were in the plan).  That being said, no amount of vaccinations, and/or flea medication will cure Alan’s cat hair allergy: factor two. The third problem is that I’m not actually responsible enough to have another living thing depend on me yet.  I don’t want to have to worry about who will feed my cat while I’m on vacation, or how to get it a kitty passport and visa when we decide to move out of Turkey. 

I had considered the idea of having a cat live on our balcony, but felt very guilty about what a small and confining place that would be for an animal that was used to having the whole city to roam on a regular basis.  We live two floors up, too high for a cat to safely jump down, and definitely too high for it to get back up.  I figured that If we weren’t going to offer it the comforts of a warm snuggly home in the winter, and an escape from the heat in the summer, we couldn’t take away it’s freedom to hang with it’s cat crew.

The friendliest cat on the block.  Just after we had trained her to come to our balcony,
our neighbors locked her in heir home.  boo. 

Just when I was beginning to come to terms with the fact that having a cat of our own was just not going to happen, one particular cat wiggled it’s way in.  This sweet little kitty had been extra friendly with us every morning on our way to work.  This evening as we sat on our balcony eating a snack, it stood two stories down and meowed at us to come play with it.  When we didn’t come down, it found a way to jump up onto the first floor balcony, where it looked at us like “I’m almost there.” Next it tried several different angles for climbing up the wall to get to us.  Unfortunately it’s not Spiderman. We enticed it up to the top of the fire escape which is only about a 6 foot leap to our balcony, but for some reason no matter how much Alan tried to convince it to jump, that cat was too smart to commit suicide just to visit us. 

That’s when we decided to help.  We tried to make a bridge using our deck umbrella, but she didn’t think that was a safe idea either. The next night we lucked out and found some wooden planks in the trash! (Ok we WERE looking through trash heaps, but let’s not call it cheap.  Let’s call it recycle-reduce-reuse. And let’s call it financially savvy).  Alan nailed the two boards together to use as a bridge between the fire escape and our balcony, and I made a trail of chicken bits up the stairs and across the bridge. The next morning all of the chicken was gone, and when we called out to the cat she came right up the stairs and across the bridge!   Success! 

Notice the chicken bones....

He only smashed his finger a few times!

We haven’t actually secured a cat as ours, but we have the will, we have a way, we have many different cats to entice into our lives. Hurray. 

A cat named Turkey.  Though we thought the name was just perfect, We are starting to think Chicken is more appropriate.  He scratches in the dirt for worms next door, and he is too skiddish to let us pet him, but he comes bounding over when we call.  

Are Pigs flying???

Well we never thought it would happen but the weather had turned and the crisp cool air of fall has come to Alanya. Two nights ago a storm came through that included Rain, Lightning and Thunder. Winter is coming and we are starting to feel like we may need more warm clothing than we thought upon our arrival. Last night as we were eating dinner on a restaurant patio we both ended up with quite a chill. We hear that they have what we would call an Indian Summer coming later in the year (Their phrase for it literally translates to "Hot Pastrami is Coming") After speaking to some locals this has nothing to do with a global climate change, it is quite normal, maybe hell hasn’t frozen over.

Doing the Translation Dance

Some New Turkish Friends!  Burak on the right, Zeynep next to Alan, out boss Jan next to her, and two Americans Roger and Tara. 

Having been here for two months Erin and I both have started to have the feeling that Alanya is actually our home. This is not to say that we don’t miss our California lives, which I do miss tremendously at times. Adding friends into our lives has made this feel even more like we have established ourselves in Turkey.

Beyond the surprise invitation from our neighbors we have also started a weekly dinner and “Turkish lesson” night with the Foreign Languages department. These nights usually include dinner, Belly dancing lessons (not that I need them) and great food. Originally it was supposed to include Turkish lessons too, but for the most part everyone lapses into speaking English. Erin and I did learn most of the important body parts. Here’s a recap:

Maş (mash)- head

Saç (sach)- hair

Omuz – shoulders

Diz – knees

Parmak – toes and fingers too

Göz – eyes

Kulak – ears

Az – mouth

Burun – nose

In all honesty Erin and I have learned and used more Turkish trying to communicate with our neighbors than at these nights, but we are truly enjoying the friendship. I realized yesterday as I was talking to Bilgehan, another English teacher who recently moved from Istanbul, that when you live in a town with relatively little to do it is important to have people to do things with. Alanya is a town that doubles in size during the tourist months. When tourist season is over restaurants and shops start to close and there is less and less to do. Building friendships is what will make the difference. Based on the past week we are well on our way.