The Knifer

It's that time of year again... Iyi Bayramlar! The sacrifice holiday is upon us again, and our town's empty lots are now full of makeshift livestock pens.  In case you missed learning all about the wonders of Kurban Bayram last year, check out this post: Lamb Chops Don't Grow on Trees. You wont be disappointed. Spoiler alert: there are sheep testicles involved. 

This is a rewind story.  It's one of my favourite memories from last year's holiday, but in trying to keep that post under a million words, it got cut. Many of the best phrases in this story come from our favourite friend Zeynep.  You should know that Zeynep is a "Newer." Newer? Huh? This word (coined by Zeynep) refers to people who make new words. She's made the connection that adding -er to the end of some words, turns the word into the the title of an occupation: writer, teacher, singer, NEWER.  So expect a few new words.  Or at least one. In the title.

The Knifer

Once upon a time two Americans, and their newly adopted Turkish family headed out to do some pre-bayram shopping.  As they sped down a busy street listening to Beyonce, the driver pulled over suddenly, next to a little old man on the side of the road.  The little man was sitting at some sort of ancient spinning wheel, made of what must have been the world's first stone wheel. Our driver jumped out of the car and grabbed a bag out of the trunk, thrusting it at the little old man.  Then he got back in the car and they sped off again.  

This is not the actual wheel.  This is a Van Gogh (a little bit of foreshadowing for the posts to come.)

"What are you doing?" asked the drivers wife. After some fast talking and eye rolling, the translation was  that the man was a "knifer,"  and he had just been given ALL of their knives to be sharpened. With the sacrifice holiday only days away, the driver figured now was the time to have really sharp knives.  The women in the car were less than supportive.  "You just gave ALL OF OUR KNIVES to that guy," says his wife.  "Don't worry, Canim (my dear), he's a knifer. Now our knives will be sharp." More eye rolling.

Fast forward to the next day. After the sheep had sacrificed his life for dinner, the group drives home to start the cooking process.  The one that requires many sharp knives.  "Don't forget to stop at the knifer to get our knives" reminds the driver's wife.

But as the group nears the corner that the knifer occupied yesterday, all they see is corner. No spinning wheel.  No knifer.  No knives. The driver gets out, and scratches his head, while looking around and willing the knives return. To his dismay the little man had vanished with his whole collection of knives.  Commence MORE eye rolling.

Moral:  Don't leave your personal possessions with some guy on the side of the road.  No matter what kind of _______er he is.

Zeynep, Necan, and Mustafa, Thank you so much for the lovely Bayram experience, and for all the lovely memories.


PS. Alan and I were so lucky to spend this year's Bayram with a different, amazing group of friends in a different AWESOME location.  Check back with us all week for the highlights.